Sunday, January 17, 2010

Short Comings

I'm short. Not midget short, but definitely below average. I didn't know I was short until I was in first grade. Peter Brionez told me. During 1st recess he told me that I was so short I looked like a tater tot. I didn't have a come back. I just went back into class when the bell rang and then went home and cried. Now it doesn't seem that terrible. I mean tater tots are awesome and thanks to Napolean Dynomite they have become a pop culture staple.

I wonder how long it would have taken me to figure out that I was short if Peter Brionez hadn't told me.

There are some things about being short that are nice that you might not be aware of (especially you tall people):

1. Low center of gravity, I rarely fall.
2. I've never been too tall for a guy
3. I don't hit my head on things
4. Never have to worry about high waters (well, I guess I have to worry about actual high bodies of water, but not the fashion don't)
5. I'm awesome at hide and go seek
6. I always have enough leg room. period.
7. I've never scared a child.

However, with all of these advantages, there are some drawbacks:

1. People pet you a lot
2. they also pick you up. Not cool.
3. there's the obvious inability to reach things on the top shelf, that sucks.
4. I'll never be "discovered" as the new face/body of Chanel
5. I think it contributes to people not taking me seriously.
6. No matter how old I get I'll look like a kid.

Whatever the pluses and minuses are, I am, and there's no fighting it. I couldn't look at Peter Brionez and tell him, "no I'm not," or "so are you," because what he said was true. Harsh, strange, immature, but true. I wish it was as easy to admit short comings about myself that aren't so obvious. When I'm faced with criticism I usually have a come back. Why do I fight even what I know deep down to be true? Why would I rather pretend to be taller than I really am? Especially when I'm not fooling anyone. Why do we fool ourselves into believing we are a bigger deal than we actually are? Why do I care so much about covering up those short comings? Do I really believe I am fooling anyone else? Do I really believe that if I argue hard enough, and hide long enough, that the world around me will think I'm good and perfect?

I think I do. On some sick level, if the people around me think I'm good, a nice person, fun, sweet, friendly, insert whatever you wish to be here, then it must be true. Why don't we want to believe about ourselves what we already know to be true on some level? Probably cause it sucks. Probably because it's a lot easier to think we're doing better than we actually are. That's why I'm thankful for the Peter Brionez's in my life. People who can be honest with me about my shortcomings. I just hope I can grow to acknowledge them, accept them, and work on changing them.

My dear reader there are areas in your life where you are a "tater tot." I can only hope you have a more tactful Peter Brionez in your life to let you know.


  1. cam. i'm shorter than you, by at least 2 feet. this means many things:

    1. I have more leg room than you.
    2. I have to hem my pants 2 inches shorter than you, it probably costs me more money.
    3. I can wear size 14-16 at target or old navy and the pants WONT be high waters. boom roasted. However, they will up above my belly button. (those are those high rise jeans we've been talking about)
    4. I probably get patted on the head more than you.

    a few things you forgot to include:

    *Short girls are usually referred to as "cute".. this is the worst compliment ever. Are we cute like "little kid cute?"

    * awkward hugs from tall people (usually men) this occurs when people feel like they have to bend down to hug you. please don't bend down. just give me a freaking side hug and call it a day.

  2. thanks for the laugh and the gut check - good things, small packages and all that! love ya lots