I think all of my problems could be boiled down to truly recognizing who Jesus is and who I am in comparison.
Working for a church and being around the things of God a lot, I am in the business of "God" so to speak, it's easy to become desensitized. Overexposed. To take for granted who God truly is and what He has done. Too often I become too familiar and lose the sense of Awe, Wonder and Fear I should have as I approach Jesus. Instead of being a humble worshiper I become a cold hearted Pharisee, who finds my identity in the work I do and not in who I am in Him.
Pharisees have had this problem for awhile. When they met Jesus for the first time they had mixed reactions.
They gossiped about him to his disciples (Matt 9: 11)
They questioned his leadership (Matt 12:2)
They blasphemed him (Matt 9:34)
They were looking for a way to discredit him (Luke 6:7)
They plotted to kill him (Matt 12:14)
Why did the people who were supposed to be waiting for Jesus not recognize Him when He was right in front of their face? Too busy doing what was right? He didn't fit their paradigm? Too proud to need a Savior?
Regardless of the reason, they missed it. They missed him. If I'm not careful I can miss Him too. When I fail to recognize Jesus for who He is in my life, When I begin to define myself by what I do and not who I am in Him, I've missed Him.
By contrast, Jesus meets a man filled with an army of demons who receives Him quite differently. We know this man only as Legion, here's his response to Jesus:
Mark 5:6-7
6 When he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and worshiped Him. 7 And he cried out with a loud voice and said, “What have I to do with You, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore You by God that You do not torment me.”
When the man possessed by the army of demons saw Jesus from afar, he ran and worshiped him. If a demon responds to my Jesus like that, how much greater should my response be? A demon knows better than a pharisee who Jesus is, because he knows he is in opposition to him, a pharisee is, but doesn't realize it. His identity is in His empty obedience to legalistic "good works." Being a pharisee is like dying by carbon monoxide poisoning. It's a slow and silent death of the soul.
If I truly recognize who Jesus is and who I am by comparison. I'll run to him, fall before him, and worship him.
I often wonder why I cannot focus and fully recognize the glory of Jesus. If I could, knew how to, I would not be living so slovenly. In a hard, honest scrutiny of my self I know this- I cannot see past ME. In my uneducated opinion, I believe that the pharisees, much like me, were trying to do good, but could not see past their selfishness. The Legion was not trying to do good, and like stepping out of a dark room into sunlight, could not but recognize the overwhelming glory of Jesus. If I am to see Jesus's glory I must lose sight of my self.
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